Articles

The wife material:-

The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can't be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head(advantage of having a big head, shey?). Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you're a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.

Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?

Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah

Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you're making sense o. Mtchew...

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Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?

Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?

A girl says she doesn't like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn't like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!

I've read stories of how a man 'tested' his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her... Oya, gbefun🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾... An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date dangote's daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.

I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn't come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y'all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone's daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.

Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.

Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.

Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

The dilemma of a widow (a picture of my country)By Falade Emmanuel Akintunde.

A cruel life awaits a widow, especially this particular widow whose husband has disappeared but has not been declared deceased.

 This left her on the verge of confusion, considering the nurturing of her three infants who shared conflicting ideologies. They are namely; Olayinka, Chukwuemeka and Sanusi.

This mark the beginning of her predicament. She needed to find a solution to the unwanted mess she had found herself which is the implication of the disunity and diversity of views that existed among her three children.

Auspiciously for her, she met a new love, who she felt would harmonise the family in their differences. Who would also display the epitome of a good leadership.

At first, she was overwhelmed with joy to the extent that she enjoyed doing **yanga** to her colleagues. Unluckily, she realised that her new love was not capable of what she was expecting.

She was looking for a man who could raise and enlighten her children who had nothing or little in common. They are practically strangers to one another. She did not only needed unity in her family but a practicable equality and sound governance.

We could call her a covetous woman who is looking for a perfect man but this is not true.

She ran into another man who was supposedly ambitious. Little was done by this man as he left the family in shambles. Perhaps due to his administrative inefficiency.

She continued to change her husband like daily meals since she knew what she wanted. All her effort was fruitless, no one to change the music. She changed up to fifteen husbands looking for her messiah.

Apparently, all of them tried their best but not enough.

At a point, she ended up remarrying two of her divorced husbands again, thinking their earlier experiences could enhance a change. Maybe one of them did, by staying longer than other husbands both present and past.

Finally, a cloud of hope gathered when she met a promising man. Unfortunately, a terminal sickness prevented the dawn of hope from being realised.

Before his death, his passion for his wife compelled him to replace himself with his friend whom he passed the mantle thinking he would make his dreams come to lime light.

This action was considered by some folks as the worst of all this widow's experiences.

The incapabilities of this new husband were beyond reasonable doubt. During and after his time, all eyes could see and tell the unprevented preventable suffering of this family.

Perhaps, we should not blame him.

Nevertheless, now that everything has fallen apart; Chukwuemeka was ready to break the family bond, Sanusi was tired of the cancerous oneness, likewise Olayinka was ready to move on. The family was capsizing.

Who will save this pitiful widow from her melancholy?

We have heard about the Maxim that says a woman always remembers when she gets married but a man needs to remember why. In this case, the reverse is the case; these men seem not to understand the strength, essence,delicacy and prerogative of a diversified family togetherness.

People continued to give this widow a glimpse of hope which is not subtle.

This family is still challenged with the persistent troubles of corruption, impunity of leaders, internal strife, worsening economy, administrative inefficiency among others.

Where lies the hope of this widow? In whom or what should we expect the relief of this dillema?

The ambassadors of this widow's dillemma are all of us whose actions and inactions steal our collective joy because of what we are ought to do which we never did.

Despite all odds, this wisdow's hope still remains. Maybe she could finally meet a selfless man who understands the origin of this family togetherness which is the first stage of her solution.

Countrymen, we all belong to this family (Which way Nigeria...which way to go).